Monday, January 30, 2012

Tonight Tonight

This is what the kids are listening to. Everything bad that happens is their fault.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

The Secret Of My Success

I'm going to venture a guess that this song is not part of that secret.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Friday, January 27, 2012


This isn't a song. It's a ring tone. No wait. That's an insult to people that make ring tones.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Gettin' Jiggy Wit It

There are plenty of reasons to like this song. Those are the exact same reasons to hate it.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

What Is Love?

Nobody hears this song and thinks, "Haddaway is amazing." They think of Chris Kattan and Will Farrell. Ponder that for a moment.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Mambo Number 5

This is a great song...
...if you're five years old.

Monday, January 23, 2012

I Want To Be Your Man

I want to like this song but good taste just won't let me. DAMN YOU ROGER!!!

Sunday, January 22, 2012


This song was old the day it was recorded.

Friday, January 20, 2012


Look up in the air. It's a crappy song.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Blow Up

This makes me want to punch myself in the face.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Monday, January 16, 2012

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Close To You

I was about to say something clever but I fell asleep.

Friday, January 13, 2012

Genie In A Bottle

Is she a genie or is she a bottle? Last I checked you rubbed the bottle not the genie. Idiot.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Duke of Earl

Crap, crap, crap, crappy song, song, song, crappy song...

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Thong Song

I wonder if this song was as hard to record as it is to listen to it. Probably not.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Mony Mony

I still have difficulty believing the guy who wrote "White Wedding" is responsible for this.

Monday, January 9, 2012

Sweet Dreams

As much as it pains me to say it, this is a case of all sizzle and no steak.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Black or White

On this day in 1992 a lot of people paid enough money to make this song number 1 on the charts. I hate all of those people.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

It Wasn't Me

I have a soft spot for all of those d-bag anthems. Is it because it's bad-ass to deny something? In what world does saying, "It wasn't me." get you off the hook when you're caught doing something you shouldn't be doing? Does anybody fall for this?

Friday, January 6, 2012

Bait A Hook

He can't bait a hook but I'll bet he has a steady job and has never made eyes at his sister.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

I Get Around

I don't think they know what "get around" means. Or maybe they do! I know Mike Love gets around. That's not even his real name. It's actually Mark Schmidt.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

(I Just) Died In Your Arms Tonight

If this song is about what I think it's about I'm surprised that he's singing about it. It's not as obvious as that Lonely Island song but it might as well be.

Monday, January 2, 2012

Naughty Girls

What does she mean by naughty? Is she suggesting that occasionally sluts want flowers?

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Get Busy

"Hi! My name is Sean Paul and I'm talentless."