Tonight Tonight

This is what the kids are listening to. Everything bad that happens is their fault.

The Secret Of My Success

I'm going to venture a guess that this song is not part of that secret.

Sadness

Crappiness... dit moi... dit moi...

Pony

This isn't a song. It's a ring tone. No wait. That's an insult to people that make ring tones.

Gettin' Jiggy Wit It

There are plenty of reasons to like this song. Those are the exact same reasons to hate it.

What Is Love?

Nobody hears this song and thinks, "Haddaway is amazing." They think of Chris Kattan and Will Farrell. Ponder that for a moment.

Mambo Number 5

This is a great song...
...if you're five years old.

I Want To Be Your Man

I want to like this song but good taste just won't let me. DAMN YOU ROGER!!!

Mickey

This song was old the day it was recorded.

Gold Fever

Um... yeah.

Cream

Look up in the air. It's a crappy song.

Blow Up

This makes me want to punch myself in the face.

Who Are You?

The kids are all right. This song is not.

The Night Chicago Died

Brother, what a load of crap it is.

Come And Get Your Love

...come and get your love, NYAOOOOOOOOOW!

Blinded By The Light

Wrapped up like a douche.

Close To You

I was about to say something clever but I fell asleep.

Genie In A Bottle

Is she a genie or is she a bottle? Last I checked you rubbed the bottle not the genie. Idiot.

Duke of Earl

Crap, crap, crap, crappy song, song, song, crappy song...

Thong Song

I wonder if this song was as hard to record as it is to listen to it. Probably not.

Mony Mony

I still have difficulty believing the guy who wrote "White Wedding" is responsible for this.

Sweet Dreams

As much as it pains me to say it, this is a case of all sizzle and no steak.

Black or White

On this day in 1992 a lot of people paid enough money to make this song number 1 on the charts. I hate all of those people.

It Wasn't Me

I have a soft spot for all of those d-bag anthems. Is it because it's bad-ass to deny something? In what world does saying, "It wasn't me." get you off the hook when you're caught doing something you shouldn't be doing? Does anybody fall for this?

Bait A Hook

He can't bait a hook but I'll bet he has a steady job and has never made eyes at his sister.

When I Hear Music

When I hear Debbie Deb I don't hear music.

I Get Around

I don't think they know what "get around" means. Or maybe they do! I know Mike Love gets around. That's not even his real name. It's actually Mark Schmidt.

(I Just) Died In Your Arms Tonight

If this song is about what I think it's about I'm surprised that he's singing about it. It's not as obvious as that Lonely Island song but it might as well be.

Naughty Girls

What does she mean by naughty? Is she suggesting that occasionally sluts want flowers?

Get Busy

"Hi! My name is Sean Paul and I'm talentless."