Stupid Hoe

I like that there's a video for this song to ensure deaf people have something to suffer through as well.

Whip My Hair

I don't consider this music but somebody did otherwise nobody would have heard it. It's regarded as being "kid friendly." I don't think kids should be allowed to hear music like this.

Chinese Democracy

Did anybody buy this album? I know Axel's mom did. I asked her what she thought. "Sucked."

Bawitdaba

I used to feel embarrassed for anybody voluntarily listening to this but these days I just feel embarrassed for Kid Rock. Now get in the pit and try to love someone... like your cousin.

Lovergirl

A little birdie told me this song was crappy crappy.

My Way

Of all the things he's going to do this time, writing a good song isn't one of them.

Nite And Day

Al B. Sure! was Justin Bieber before Justin Bieber.

Batdance

There is an explanation for this song. Prince wrote a bunch of songs for Tim Burton's Batman and they were all pretty good. Then somebody said, "Thanks Prince. Can you do one more song but make it Batman themed?" This request clearly pissed him off so he wrote Batdance.

Brass Monkey

Before you get all butthurt about me trashing a Beastie Boys classic let me reiterate that love the Beastie Boys. If you scraped the bottom the Boys' barrel you'd probably find Brass Monkey residue.

It's Raining Men

I don't get this song. I mean I get it but I don't get it.

Welcome To The Boomtown

These guys are professional musicians or at least they were. Enjoy.

Hold On To The Nights

It's too hard to verbally express how I feel about this song and I don't know how to convey vomiting using our alphabet.

Girl You Know It's True

If you're going to lip-sync at least pic a good song. If this song were released today it would be titled, "Girl U Know It's True." That's right, still no comma.

She's A Beauty

I don't know why I have a problem with rock bands performing songs for a chick. Maybe it's because it seems to me like the entire band is banging her.

Baby

This is the musical equivalent of cancer.

Valentine Girl

I'm almost positive there were versions of this song for Christmas, Thanksgiving, Halloween, and probably Hanukkah. Was Donny Jewish?

Catch Me

Poison, yes. Pretty, not so much.

This Could Be The Night

This COULD be the night but it's not. Loverboy ruined it.

Buffalo Stance

What is a "buffalo stance?"

Mercedes Boy

It should be titled "Mercedes, boy." There are plenty of other problems but that one annoys me the most. If the song was about some "Mercedes Boy" that drove one or turned into one when the moon was full it would be okay but it's not.

That's How I Beat Shaq

Is this a Sears commercial?

Home Sweet Home

We love rock ballads because they suck. No matter how much my personal tastes want me to hate this song I can't help but love it.

Hakuna Matata

It also means ignoring your obligations and sponging. It's like the pot head's anthem.

Chim Chim Cher-ee

Mary Poppins: good.
Dick Van Dyke: bad.

You'll Be In My Heart

It's a funny thing about collaborations. They're rarely good. Tarzan and Disney was a bad combo to begin with. Adding Phil Collins to the mix just made it worse. I guess Lionel Richie had another obligation.

A Whole New World

Coincidentally, this is what most losers say to get into bed with hot chicks.

Mine, Mine, Mine

It's not a bad Disney song per se but about halfway through Mel Gibson gets his solo.

Zero To Hero

Did anybody see this? I know you did Stacey. I mean everybody else.

Bella Notte

They call it beautiful night.

Set Adrift on Memory Bliss

Spandau Ballet? Really?