We Are The World 25

Does anything need to be said?

You Oughta Know

There was nothing wrong with this song. Then one day everybody found out that she used to date Dave Coulier.

Never Again

If this is the current generation's "You Oughta Know" then I weep for them.

Hips Don't Lie

Proof positive that gyrations don't translate to music.

She Will Be Loved

She will be loved....
...by an idiot that needs to move on and accept the fact that she's in love with a douche.

Firework

The fact that this is the measuring stick for "quality" music always makes me wonder why I don't make pop music. Perhaps it's because I don't have very nice tits.

True

This song does everything right yet I still hate it.

Beautiful Day

It's more of a wireless commercial but people seemed to like it. Then again people like Lady Gaga. Welcome to the list boys.

Teeth

In honor of my morning at the dentist and next week's procedure here's a crappy, Lady Gaga "song."

Don't Cha

Sometimes this project is hazardous. I'm pretty sure this song just gave me herpes.

Brothers of Metal

This is my favorite crap song. My only regret in sharing it is that there will be one more Manowar fan by the end of the day.

Red Solo Cup

What a shit head. Watching this video was worse than listening to the song. This is probably the first time I've ever prayed for God to smite a house full of people.

Dreamlover

Either she's a great singer or a terrible yodeler. I'm going to go with terrible yodeler.

Apologize

Without groups like this tools would have no way to apologize to their idiot girlfriends after punching a hole the wall while roid raging.

This Is How We Do It

They're never really specific about what THIS is. It could be having a designated driver so he can drink is 40 which is pretty gangsta.

Master and Servant

A broken clock is right twice a day. The rest of the time it's broken and worthless.

The Way

Sometimes I just hate a particular song.

Holiday

Everybody spread the word. This is a crappy song.

That's Not My Name

It's the musical equivalent of being punched in the anus.

Wonderful Christmas Time

Paul wasn't satisfied being the worst thing about the Beatles. He had to be the worst thing about Christmas too. I know it's November. I've already heard this song twice while out shopping.

Institutionalized

All I wanted was a bridge, just one bridge, and he wouldn't give it to me! Just a bridge!

The Reason

This song has an important message. The message is that even if your piano only has one key you can still use it in a song. Hoobastank.

Lost In Emotion

Lisa Lisa paved the way for "singers" like Paula Abdul and Kim Kardashian. Thanks a lot, bitch.

She Loves You

Songs like this make it hard for somebody like me to love the Beatles. The lyrics are completely asinine but it's so darned catchy nobody can resist its charm. I want to love it but good taste just won't let me.

The Rhythm Is Gonna Get You

The Jackson 5 made the conga drums cool. Gloria worked twice as hard to make them stupid. I think every news story about something typical happening in Florida should be accompanied by The Miami Sound Machine.

Nothin' But A Good Time

As opposed to all those bad times they're looking for. Who doesn't want to have a good time? What a stupid song.

Wannabe

In 1995, a computer was employed to write the perfect pop song. Marketability and catchiness were the two most important things. Using a series of complex algorithms the computer worked endlessly for one year. In 1996, Virgin hired five hot chicks to sing it. The rest is history.

Magic

A vortex of suck.

Kiss Me Deadly

Replace the rock music with techno and you have a modern hit. That stupid broad that thinks a dollar sign is a letter would be a good fit.