Saturday, December 31, 2011

Friday, December 30, 2011

The Sign

I heard this song and it opened up my ears to how much Ace Of Base blows. The 90's answer to ABBA? You bet. Yes, I hate ABBA as well.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011


Creedence could make do with three chords. These guys cannot.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Material Girl

She's definitely the "Material Girl." Unfortunately for her that material is crap.

Monday, December 26, 2011

Angel Of The Morning

How could I pick this song over "Queen Of Hearts?" It was pretty easy. I listened to it, posted it, wiped my hands on my pants, and walked away satisfied.

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Christmas Shoes

I was originally going to post "Baby, It's Cold Outside" because who doesn't love a song about date rape. Suddenly I remembered that there's an even more obnoxious Christmas song. I'm really sorry about this one.

Saturday, December 24, 2011

'Zat You Santa Claus?

And you thought he couldn't do anything worse than "Hot Hot Hot."

Friday, December 23, 2011

Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer

There was a time when I thought this song was funny. Then I turned 5.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

All I Want For Christmas Is You

All I want for Christmas is for this song to never be played again.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Christmas Canon

Yeah, I know it's a second TSO song but I just heard it the other day and wanted to share my discomfort with all of you.

Monday, December 19, 2011

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus

I wonder if they also saw Joe beat the ever loving crap out of Santa.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Saturday, December 17, 2011

I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas

I hope the kid gets his wish and learns first hand just how dangerous hippos are.

Friday, December 16, 2011

Mary, Did You Know

This song is almost as bad as his recent plastic surgery.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Little Drummer Boy

There is no way to do this song without it sucking.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Must Be Santa

Overweight, fake white beard, smells of rum, seasonal job. Must be Santa

Monday, December 12, 2011

Santa Baby

The hardest part was picking which version to post. I decided to go with the Pussycat Sluts since they embody the "Vapid Skankitute" that this song festers with.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Hey Santa

Hey Carnie and the other one. Your song is ruining Christmas. I was going to make a joke suggesting Carnie writing a song about Thanksgiving but that's too mean, even for me.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Christmas Eve/Sarajevo

For people who want to listen to Mannheim Steamroller with the windows down.

Friday, December 9, 2011

Funky, Funky, Christmas

There's nothing good about this song. You can't say the ending because it doesn't show up for five minutes.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Happy Christmas (War is over)

Nothing goes better with Christmas than war. That bomb you hear is Yoko Ono. Merry Christmas, Mr. Lennon.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Deck The Halls

People always come out of the woodwork to defend the Steamroller. Who are these people that grab Mannheim Steamroller while the family decorates the tree? Do they think they're filling people with joy? Is this the only Christmas album they have? So many questions.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Feliz Navidad

Hey look at me! I'm a repetitive Christmas song! Yes, I know he's blind.

Monday, December 5, 2011

Last Christmas

How can he give his heart to somebody special this year? He gave it to somebody else and they already re-gifted it.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Christmas Don't Be Late

My swollen cheeks inspired me. Why do they feel the need to dust these guys off every 20 years? Do washed up artists really need the extra royalties that bad? I hate The Chipmunks.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Do They Know It's Christmas Time

Last I checked there's snow Africa every year. There's nothing I love more than rich people asking people to give money.

Friday, December 2, 2011

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Oh Come All Ye Faithful

The only thing worse than this Christmas nightmare are the thousands that have purchased a Jingle Cats CD or cassette. Most likely it was a cassette that was given to a very disappointed 17 year old.